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In my home, a goblin lives.

She steals my sausages, but can rock the baby's crib.


Behind the sofa, the goblin sleeps.

She scratches and scrapes at the underneath.


Harder, and faster, and more chaotic it grows!

AYA!, the goblin finally yells for our attention.

Then she nibbles our toes.


Stop it!, we say as we hustle to pick up our nipped at, bloody feet.

Ohsorrysorrysorry the goblin scurries to lick up her messy treat.


The blood dries quickly, and her wet saliva tickles as it dries on our skin.  

We giggle with laughter and the goblin takes it as her cue to gosofastwinwinwin!


She runs away slipping and sliding about.

Then, she returned a few moments later with chicken bones in her mouth!


Chicken bones don’t even do justice to the scene.

It was a whole carcass, with feathers! It looked as if she’d ripped a pillow at its seams.


We jumped off of the sofa, out of our seats, 

And practically our pants.

We ran after the goblin, but she was fast, and we didn’t have a chance. 


We opened every window.

We then locked up every door.  


The goblin would find her way to the windows outside,

And run until she couldn’t run any more.  


I look to my wife like what the fuck just happened?

She laughs and shrugs her shoulders, leaned up against the front door.


Are we good parents for Goblin? She asks me.

I just about curse at the floor.


Don’t ask me, I think to myself, and say-


We’re the best goblin parents, now let’s go lay down.

They calm down with time-.

Maybe a cage, I, once again, think to myself, then say, and age.


I reached out my hand and pulled in my wife.

She moved closer to me and whispered Oh, I just love our life.


We were side to side, and just about to go lay down 

To wait out the craziness together until they heard goblin’s sleepy sounds.


I ready the pillows on top of the bed,

Then, all of the sudden, 

A POOF when I laid down my head!


All we could do was throw back our heads and laugh.

The goblin really did burst the seams of our pillow to add more feathers to her day's mess of arts and crafts.


GOBLIN!!!! We both yelled, no longer surprised

Here she came running with big ears flopping and not a thought behind her big brown eyes, 


We giggle still in disbelief

She cocks her head sideways and looks as if to say to us, 

You called for me?!

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